


Conned

by Ladroitte



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adorkable awkwardness, Cat Puns, Cosplay, F/M, Identity Reveal, Intense punning, Quadruple reveal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 16:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14549175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladroitte/pseuds/Ladroitte
Summary: Independently of each other, Adrien and Marinette both end up going to the same con - cosplaying their alter-egos. Intense shipping (and punning) ensues.





	Conned

**Author's Note:**

> Seeing how little time and energy I've had these past weeks, I decided that I needed a break from trying to piece together the next chapter of my rational fic, and instead settled for a fluffy one shot. 
> 
> Had a lot of fun with this one, hopefully you will too. ^u^

‘Do you think you could dab this time?’

Adrien fired off a dazzling smile towards the small girl dressed as Clark Kent. ‘Sure thing, random citizen!’

Moving his right leg back behind him in something resembling a martial arts stance, he raised both arms at an angle in the air, bending his neck slightly to hide his face behind one of them. Camera flashes and giggles went off all around him.

After allowing them a few more seconds, he smoothly changed his pose into a gentlemanly bow, locking eyes with a red-clad, spotted girl with pigtails in the back.

‘ **Purrhaps** you would like to pose with me… m’lady?’

More giggles.

‘Okay, kitty-cat!’ the girl exclaimed eagerly, basically skipping up to join him. He took her hand in his and gave it a chaste kiss.

‘Most pleased to make your acquaintance.’

Once again, flashes went off all around. Adrien grinned in their general direction.

When he had gone to his first con a couple of years back, it had mostly been out of curiosity. He had had no idea of whether it would be fun or awkward or weird or all of the above, but his inner anime girl/super nerdy cat persona had nonetheless convinced him to at least try it, if only once.

Since he had no experience whatsoever with a sewing machine, he’d bought a Chat Noir costume online. Not the best one he could find—he didn’t want to be recognised as the _real_ Chat, of course. But he’d found a formfitting suit with a basic tail, mask and diadem with black cat ears, and together with some hair gel, it made him look just close enough to elicit attention, but just different enough that he’d be able to get away with it.

He’d hit jackpot.

Even on his first con—even though he’d been nervous as hell, both that someone would recognise him and that he would embarrass himself—he’d soon been surrounded by appreciative con attendants who wanted to take a picture with him. The first time he’d taken a picture with “Hawkmoth” had admittedly been W E I R D, but he’d soon gotten the hang of it. Even posing with fans of Ladybug, dressed in their own ladybug-themed creations, had become fun after a while—as soon as he’d overcome his amazement of the fact that Ladybug (well, _a_ Ladybug) was just as eager to be close to him as he was to be close to her.

It wasn’t the real deal, obviously. But it was stupidly fun to get to live out all his little silly fantasies from his early teens—getting love declarations from, being proposed to by and getting his feelings recruited by (a) Ladybug.

It’d stopped feeling special after a while, but it was still fun, and he liked the attention people gave him for his costume. (Plagg used to make fun of him for having to _pretend_ to be Chat Noir to have fun when he could just _transform_ and be Chat Noir _for real_ anytime, but Adrien chose to ignore it. Clearly his kwami did not understand the beauty of cosplay.)

This year was his third, and it was playing out mostly like the former two…

Right up until someone nearby asked if he could pose for a photo together “with Marybug” and pointed at another girl in full Ladybug suit, currently being pulled in his direction by someone cosplaying as Dark Owl.

* * *

Marinette could see definite advantages of having a friend who lived for The Cosplay. When she’d met Anne in high school, she’d been super excited to finally have someone with whom she could discuss the intricacies of sewing and design. Anne had given Marinette plenty of inspiration for new fashion designs, while Marinette had been able to teach Anne a practical trick or two of how to get her cosplays to come together. Basically, they had been each other’s muses in the past few years.

But just as there were advantages, there were also definitive drawbacks to the whole setup.

Such as being talked into going to a con with Anne.

It had been a fun idea at first, and Marinette hadn’t been able to help but feel a little mischievous at the thought of going as Ladybug, her actual alter-ego. She’d sewn the entire outfit herself, but had obviously had to make some “mistakes” along the way, such as just how snugly the suit fit on her or what colour lenses she wore. She’d even bought a wig just so people wouldn’t be suspicious when they saw how Ladybug-like her real hair was. The result was a really great Ladybug, but not eerily so—and hopefully not _suspiciously_ so.

Now, after having been photographed and appreciated by just about everyone she met in the area of the con, she started regretting going as Ladybug. Not just because her cosplay was amazing, but also because Ladybug was apparently a real hit on cons—second only to Chat Noir.

It was weird seeing so many Chats around (well, it was weird seeing lots of Ladybugs around, too, but at least she knew all of them were fakes). What if the boy behind Chat’s mask had been dragged here by one of his friends, just like Marinette? And what if he’d chosen to go as Chat Noir, just for the fun of it?

Marinette _really_ didn’t want to be recognised, and while she was fairly confident that most people wouldn’t get suspicious as to her real identity, she couldn’t say what would happen if she found herself face to face with Chat. Even with Hawkmoth supposedly retired, they still spent several nights a week patrolling the streets of Paris and fighting petty crimes together—not so much because they needed to, but because neither of them had been particularly keen to stop seeing each other. They’d inadvertently grown close through all the Akuma fights in the early days.

Yeah, Chat would definitely see through her cosplay in the blink of an eye.

But he wouldn’t be _here_ , right? That would be too much of a coincidence.

‘Hey, look, Mari!’ Anne exclaimed as they were strolling around the con area in the blistering summer sun. ‘There’s Chat Noir!’

Marinette distractedly followed Anne’s pointed finger, catching sight of a leather-clad blond surrounded by a crowd of Chat Noir-fans. ‘Um, yeah, he’s only the twentieth or so that we’ve seen this morning.’

‘But this one’s really good! Look at the way he’s posing. Seriously suave.’

Marinette couldn’t help but snort. ‘Suave! Have you ever even seen the real Chat Noir, Anne?’

Her friend wiggled her eyebrows—a gesture that looked particularly silly considering that she was cosplaying Dark Owl. ‘Look at that leather-clad butt, Mari. Have you seen any other kitty with a butt like that today? Eh? Ehhh?’

Marinette looked at the leather-clad butt, blushing as she did so. Well… It _was_ really great...

‘But—’

But Anne had already taken Marinette’s hand in hers and started pulling her towards the butt.

‘Hey, Chatty! Could you pose for a photo with Marybug?’

The butt—no no, the _guy_ with the butt _—_ turned in their direction. As he locked eyes with Marinette, she could almost swear that she saw them widen, but only for a fraction of a second. Then his grin was on again.

‘Of course,’ he purred, extending a welcoming hand. ‘I’m always up for a snuggle with my bugaboo.’

She blinked at him, breath caught in her throat. He was clearly wearing lenses, and his ears were fastened to a simple diadem, but…

_No, it can’t be him. Too much of a coincidence, right?_

With a smile of her own, she took his hand and stepped closer. Despite his comment about snuggling, he kept a respectable distance to her, for which she was grateful.

They struck some innocent poses together—fist bump, spinning yo-yo and staff, various fighting stances—while the crowd around them took photo after photo after photo.

And then it was over, and they parted ways.

Anne was disappointed. ‘I wanted a photo of you smacking that fine butt,’ she complained.

‘Next time,’ Marinette promised, infinitely sure that there wouldn’t be a next time.

* * *

 

The second time that Adrien and “Marybug” crossed paths was only half an hour later. One of the Ladynoir shippers had seen their previous shoot and was eager to make it happen again.

‘Nice seeing you again, m’lady,’ he said when she took place by his side. She smiled, but it was an unnatural, forced smile. Just as last time.

‘You too.’

It was the first time since he’d started cosplaying Chat Noir that a Ladybug had been reluctant to pose with him. Usually, people were so eager that they could even get a bit too close for comfort. But not this girl.

Since it was so obvious that she was uncomfortable, he tried to speed things up a bit. And this time, he avoided the fist bump, because he didn’t want to force any physical contact on her whatsoever. Instead, he kept to his puns.

_‘Would you **purrfur** to be on the left or right?’_

_‘Don’t **tail** anyone, but I think your costume is quite **pawssibly** the best I’ve seen.’_

_‘Those were some nice **pawses** , m’lady!’_

_‘Bye for **meow**!’_

He might have imagined it, but he was pretty sure she looked more relaxed by the end of it.

* * *

 

The third time that they were asked to pose together, both of them burst into laughter.

‘I’m so sorry you have to pose with me all day,’ Marinette whispered to the other cosplayer before they got into position.

‘Are you **kitten** me? I have nine lives, bugaboo, I’ve got plenty of time.’

* * *

 

Eventually, Adrien started losing track of how many times they had posed together. All he knew was that his mood peaked every time he recognised Marybug in the crowd, and hoped that someone else would, too.

‘Well well, look what the cat dragged in,’ he would say when someone inevitably did.

‘What is this, the fifth or sixth time?’ she would respond in pretended annoyance. ‘Apparently I’m your catsitter today.’

During what must have been well over the tenth time, something suddenly tugged on his tail. When he turned his head to investigate, he saw a mischievous smirk on Marybug’s lips.

‘You call this a tail?’ she asked. ‘The real Chat Noir would be **appawlled**.’

After he had gotten over the initial shock, he regained himself with an affronted snort. ‘Oh, yeah? You think you’re so great, with your plastic toy yo-yo and your wrongly coloured lenses?’

She just kept smirking. Then he realised.

‘Wait—did you just make a cat pun?’

‘Did I? I don’t know, I was too distracted by your cheap diadem to notice.’

‘You’re a real **puss-over** , you know that?’

She leaned in close to his ear and whispered, ‘Bite me.’

Adrien hoped that his black mask covered most of his blush as Marybug pulled back with a satisfied grin. Was she flirting with him? Was this perfect Ladybug cosplayer, complete with snark and everything, _flirting with him?_

After that time, their poses suddenly started changing. They had already gone back to doing the fist bump, but now it was like they had entered a silent agreement by which innocent touches were expected in almost every pose. If Adrien hadn’t known better, he would have thought that Marybug was doing everything she could to touch him as much as possible. First it was his tail in her hand (not really touching _him_ , but almost), then it was her hand on his shoulder, and then it was a stray finger or two on his neck. Encouraged by her touches, he started letting go of some of his own restrictions. He would stand on one knee and place a soft kiss on her outstretched hand; he would tug carefully on one of her pigtails; he would wrap an arm around her shoulders. She didn’t seem to mind. Actually, she seemed to enjoy it.

But sometime around the fifteenth time or so, he started silently admonishing himself for thinking of her as Ladybug. She wasn’t Ladybug, not really, just an amazing cosplayer. She didn’t have his memories of their patrols together, or of his early confessions of love for her. She didn’t know about the late night talks they’d had, huddled together for warmth on the top floor of the Eiffel Tower. She was just an ordinary girl who happened to like Ladybug.

_And who doesn’t?_

But still, even though he knew that she wasn’t Ladybug, he caught himself enjoying every little touch, each little secret glance between them. Maybe it wasn’t so wrong to flirt with this cosplayer after all. Maybe it was actually good—for him, and for the real Ladybug. Maybe it was a good idea to get her off of his mind for a bit.

* * *

 

‘Based on your most recent photo shoot, I’d say you’re getting close to smacking that fine butt,’ Anne told her in a hurried murmur as she led Marinette away from the punning cosplayer.

‘Pssh,’ Marinette said with a dismissed hand wave, ‘It’s nothing like that.’

‘Nothing like that? Haven’t you noticed how the crowd surrounding the two of you has changed throughout the day?’

Marinette frowned at her friend. ‘Changed? What are you talking about?’

Anne rolled her eyes. ‘In the beginning, there were kids everywhere, gleefully snapping photos of their favourite pair of superheroes in heroic poses.’

Marinette remembered the kids with a smile. ‘That little boy in the Hawkmoth costume was really cute.’

‘Yeah, but have you seen him again? Have you seen any of those kids the past few times? Let me answer that for you: no, you haven’t, because the past few times, the crowd has consisted only of young adults and older.’

‘So?’

Anne shook her head at her oblivious friend. ‘So, your photo shoots are turning into sinful re-enactments of mature fanfics.’

At that, Marinette actually burst out laughing. ‘Sinful? Mature? Anne, we’re hardly even hugging!’

‘Maybe not—yet—but there’s a real spark between the two of you. A real tension.’

Marinette was silent for a moment as they walked. The sun had finally disappeared behind a wad of clouds, so she could see without having to peer at all times.

‘We’re just having fun,’ she responded at last.

‘I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. But maybe you don’t want to get all hot and heavy in public, y’know?’

Marinette didn’t answer. It was nothing like _that_. They were just getting comfortable together, which enabled them to make more interesting poses for their fans. No more or less than that.

* * *

 

‘Aren’t you a sight **fur** sore eyes, m’lady.’

‘Just get over here, you stray cat.’

Adrien sauntered over to his red-clad companion, casually waving his tail around with his hand. She held out her hand to him, and he gracefully fell down on one knee and took it in his, placing a kiss on her clothed knuckles. People were whooping around them.

‘Lift her up in your arms!’ someone shouted.

‘Push him away!’ someone else suggested.

‘Could you get a little closer together?’ a third person asked, mobile camera ready.

The two cosplayers exchanged a look. _I’ll follow your lead,_ Adrien tried to signal. Ladybug blinked at him before grabbing hold of his hand and pulling him up on his feet.

‘Let’s **cat** this show on the road, shall we?’

He smirked, unable to hide his glee that she was punning so freely now. ‘You’re asking **fur** trouble, m’lady.’

They were standing just a few decimetres apart now, still holding hands, and cameras were going off around them.

‘Oh, you think you’re a match **fur** me?’

‘Getting lazy,’ he taunted her.

‘Don’t **puss** your luck, kitty.’

‘ **Meow** you’re talking,’ he murmured, subconsciously leaning in towards her. There was a wall close behind her back, and with one index finger above her chest, he gently pushed her away from him.

‘Pushing me up against a **waul** now, huh? That’s **pawllsy**.’

‘Yeah, I know, not very gentle **cat** ly.’

She widened her eyes for a second before letting out a quick laughter. ‘Wow. Just wow.’

Adrien grinned. ‘Did I win?’

‘No hard **felines** , kitty, but that was a **cat** astrophe,’ she replied with a wink.

_God, this girl…_

He glanced at the crowd, whose members were eagerly holding up their phones to capture the best photos. ‘Is it okay if I lift you?’

After a moment’s hesitation, she nodded. Letting go of her hand, he leaned down to wrap his arms around her thighs, locking his hands together just beneath her butt (but taking care not to actually touch it). Then, with a quick hoist, he pulled her up against him—her chest against his chest, her back against the wall—but while cameras were going off hotter than ever and whoops were heard from several directions, Adrien was busy panicking over the fact that she really was _flush against his body_ and _oh god oh god it felt so good_ but what had he expected when he lifted her up? That he wouldn’t feel her against him???

Ladybug let out a soft exhalation, and he could see a blush spread from beneath her mask and down across her cheeks. Adrien’s breathing sped up.

 _Not Ladybug, not Ladybug, NOT LADYBUG,_ he reminded himself in a silent scream in his head, but his body didn’t seem to understand the difference, because his face was already red and the blush was quickly spreading downwards beneath his costume, just as hers seemed to be doing right now.

‘Kiss him, Ladybug!’ Dark Owl suggested. Ladybug shot the owl a look as dark as his name.

‘Hey,’ Adrien murmured so that only she could hear him, ‘maybe we should—’

He lost track of his words when Ladybug suddenly raised a clothed index finger to his lips, eliciting even louder responses and more flashes from their audience. She leaned her forehead against his and looked into his eyes. If her irises hadn’t been a weird purple instead of the real Ladybug’s blue, he might have been fooled. Because with their faces that close together, he could see each individual freckle clearly, and every single one seemed to match with the ones on the large, HD close-up of his real companion that he had on his bedroom wall at home. His eyes widened.

‘Ladybug?’ he murmured against her index finger, but she didn’t seem to hear the real question in his voice. She moved her finger from his lips but didn’t lean back. Instead, she once again exhaled softly, and this time, the exhalation brushed against his skin. His head was swimming in fog.

 _GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE,_ his brain seemed to be screaming at him from somewhere in the distance. _IF YOU KISS THIS GIRL JUST BECAUSE SHE REMINDS YOU OF LADYBUG, YOU’RE A LOST CAUSE. AND NOT ONLY THAT, YOU’RE ALSO A CREEP._

Almost involuntarily, he jerked his head away and let go of Marybug, and if her back hadn’t been pressed against that wall, she would’ve immediately dropped to the floor. As it now was, she just stumbled a little as he backed away from her and the wall, his chest heaving. For a moment, they stared at each other in mutual shock.

The audience had gone silent.

He turned and ran.

* * *

 

For a long moment, Marinette stood frozen in place. Then Anne came up beside her. ‘Earth to Marinette,’ she mumbled, ‘you should go after him.’

‘But… he ran away from me,’ she breathed. Around them, the crowd had started murmuring among themselves, slowly dispersing to leave her and Anne alone.

_Did I push him too far? Oh god, I did, didn’t I? We’re just two strangers… And I forced myself on him._

She hid her face in her hands. ‘I went too far.’

Carefully, Anne wrapped an arm around her friend’s shoulders. ‘Marinette, you didn’t go any farther than he did. Okay? He probably just… got shy or something. Please, just go after him.’

Something clicked in her, and she removed her hands. ‘I should make sure that he’s okay.’

‘Yeah, you should.’

Marinette nodded firmly, then took a deep breath. ‘Okay. I’ll call you when I’m done.’

‘I won’t wait up,’ Anne replied, but Marinette was already off.

She didn’t have a plan. She had no idea where not-Chat would run to get away, or if she would ever be able to find him, but she would be damned if she didn’t at least try.

Too bad she was at a con where one tenth of the population were Chat Noirs. She sighed deeply as she started walking through the crowd, trying to determine if one of the cats was redder in the face than the others. But everyone seemed busy; laughing, eating, taking photos or doing silly poses together with other Ladybugs. So she quickly ruled out the possibility that her Chat would be among them.

Eventually, she found a likely candidate a little ways off, sitting by the edge of a small pond with his eyes fixed to the glittering surface. She paused, swallowing hard. What was she supposed to say? She was so ashamed of herself. It was true that he had been pushing it further too, but she was the one who had apparently taken it _too_ far. Did that make her… a molester?

 _Stop thinking such stupid things,_ she told herself. _You are both consenting adults, and you didn’t force him into anything._

Managing to calm herself with that thought, she prepared to walk up to him.

Just then, he reached up to his face.

And removed his mask.

Marinette froze. Her heart thudded against her chest and all sounds around her were suddenly muffled by a ringing in her head.

_Is that… Adrien Agreste?_

The young Agreste, the love of her early teenage years and the boy that decorated her bedroom walls with his pretty model face, was sulking by the pond in front of her.

She hadn’t seen him—or heard from him—in three years, when they both left middle school. And now he was here, cosplaying Chat Noir and punning his ass off with her and other Ladybugs? What was he _doing_ here? He was supposed to be an unattainable teenage dream, a girl’s wet dream, but instead he was here as a _cosplayer_ among mere mortals?

_Okay, tone it down a bit, girl. He’s just as human as you are._

If anything, their romps throughout the day had proved that. He was just as human as…

As Chat Noir.

She swallowed again, watching as Adrien Agreste ran a hand through his hair, removing the diadem with the cat ears in the process. How was she supposed to face him? Should she remove her mask, too? But how would he react to finding out that she was Marinette, the awkward girl from middle school? Would it be best if she kept her mask on? But then, wasn’t it unfair that she knew his identity while he had no clue about hers?

 _Argh, these damn dilemmas._ She wanted to just march over to him and get it all over with.

So that’s what she did.

She decided to move around and approach him from the back, so that he could put his mask on again if he wished too. And when he heard her footsteps approaching, his instant reaction was to do just that. He scrambled for the mask and slapped it on his face before turning around to look at her. When he did, his face contorted into an embarrassed grimace.

‘Oh,’ he said awkwardly, ‘hi.’

She raised her hand to wave stupidly. ‘Hello. Can I… sit?’

He hesitated for a moment. ‘Sure.’

Carefully, she walked up to the pond and sat down a couple of metres away from him. He glanced at her.

‘I’m not scared of you, y’know,’ he murmured. After a short moment of silence, he added, ‘That’s not why I ran.’

‘You don’t have to tell me why you ran,’ she assured him. ‘I just wanted to say sorry.’

He shook his head. ‘Don’t.’

‘I pushed you too far, in front of all those people, and—’

‘Mary, please.’

She paused at the sound of her name. Well, not really her name, but basically half of it, and the first part of her cosplayer name. For some reason, it sounded strange when it came from him.

They sat in silence for a few seconds before Adrien chose to continue.

‘It’s not your fault,’ he said so quietly that she could barely hear him. ‘I spurred you on. I just… I guess I… I don’t know.’ He sounded frustrated. ‘My mind played a trick on me.’

‘What?’ she whispered in confusion.

Once again, he shook his head. ‘Never mind. Listen, this isn’t how I wanted this day to end. I’ve had so much fun today, especially while posing with you. And unless… Unless you’re fed up with me—which I wouldn’t blame you for, just to be clear—maybe we could stay in contact?’

He looked at her with his lensed eyes, but she had to look away. ‘… Is that a good idea? I mean, I’d love to, but…’

‘But?’

‘I saw how quick you were to put your mask on when you heard me coming. I just assumed that you wanted your identity to stay a secret.’

He was silent for a long moment. While waiting for him to answer, Marinette dipped her clothed toes in the water. The sun had come out again, and so the ripples in the pond reflected the light and almost blinded her as it reached her eyes. At the moment, she didn’t mind.

‘Can I ask you something?’ Chat said after a while.

‘Yeah?’

Another moment of silence, this one a lot shorter. ‘Are you the real Ladybug?’

She inhaled sharply.

_What?_

_What?_

_WHAT?!_

How did he know that? How would he know?!

And what was she supposed to say?!

_That’s easy, stupid. You lie. You tell him that of course you’re not Ladybug, what a dumb question, what a morose assumption._

But what would it matter if Adrien Agreste knew that she was Ladybug? He didn’t know that she was Marinette, so it would only result in her giving him the knowledge that he had been punning and flirting with the real Ladybug all day long instead of with some random girl. How could that hurt?

Then again… If she told him the truth… She would never be able to reveal her civilian identity to him. If she wanted to stay in contact with him, she would have to lie.

* * *

 

Adrien knew that they were standing at a crossroads. If she told him that she was in fact Ladybug, he would tell her that he was Chat Noir. That seemed like the right thing to do. But if it turned out that she _wasn’t_ Ladybug, he couldn’t tell her. If he did, he would forever ruin his chances with this girl, because then he could never tell her that he was Adrien. That’s why he had to ask the big question now instead of later—it determined how he should handle the situation going forward.

He didn’t dare to look at her while he waited.

‘I… I…’

 _Why is that such a hard question to answer?_ He frowned. Did that mean…?

‘I’m sorry to disappoint you, but…’

His shoulders relaxed.

‘… I’m not Ladybug.’

Adrien exhaled softly. ‘That’s okay. I’m actually relieved, because if you were Ladybug, I would’ve had to tell you that I’m Chat Noir.’

A sharp inhalation was heard from the girl. And Adrien realised.

‘HAHA,’ he blurted out nervously, ‘just joking! Hahaha!’

But when he glanced at Marybug, he saw that she was completely frozen in place, staring at him in shock.

‘Of course I’m not Chat Noir,’ he rambled on, ‘in no way am I that suave or cool or powerful—’

Marybug shrieked out loud, making him flinch. She shot up like a rocket, slapping both hands over her mouth. Adrien got up on his feet, too, raising his hands to calm her down.

‘I’m just a punning dweeb, okay?! The puns and the hair are the only things we have in common!’

Her eyes flew up to his hair, and they widened even further.

_Oh shit._

He pointed at the tips of his fingers. ‘Listen, just because I have claws out doesn’t mean I’m—’

Suddenly, the warm rush of transformation enveloped his body in a green light, and when it faded, Marybug had lost all of _her_ colour. Her mouth was agape.

They stared at each other for a long moment.

‘… Okay,’ he finally admitted, ‘I _am_ Chat Noir.’

* * *

 

_This guy that I’ve been flirting with—whose chest I was pressed flush against just a short while ago—is Adrien Agreste._

_Adrien Agreste is Chat Noir._

_I’ve been flirting with Chat Noir._

_Why have I been flirting with Chat Noir? What does this mean? Does it mean that I’m secretly in love with him? Or does it just mean that I secretly really like his butt? Oh my god, does it mean that I’m attracted to Chat Noir?!_

Marinette had never been so confused before in her entire life.

‘Um, Mary…? I’m so sorry. God, I’m such an idiot.’

She blinked at her partner, who was standing in front of her with his hands buried in his hair and his green eyes—his real, green cat eyes—staring at her in fear.

‘I screwed everything up,’ he continued. ‘Me and my stupid, giant mouth…’

 _You mean your sexy mouth,_ Marinette caught herself thinking. She almost gagged on her own spit.

‘I _don’t_ think you’re sexy,’ she heard herself exclaim loudly. Then her brain caught up as Chat’s eyes widened, if possible, even further. ‘Oh my god! That’s not what I wanted to say! I mean—’

‘Hey, I never assumed you di—’

‘You’re so hot I’m melting just by looking at you!’

Silence.

Chat scratched the back of his neck. His face was reddening. ‘Um… Th-thank you.’

‘I-I mean,’ she continued desperately, ‘it shouldn’t be any news to you! You’re a supermodel after all!’

He froze.

‘Shit!’ Marinette hid her face in her palms. _I’ve done it now._

‘Did you say… supermodel?’ he asked in a tense voice.

Marinette groaned, peeking out from between her fingers. ‘I saw you before you put your mask back on. I’m sorry!’

Chat’s face contorted in horror. ‘That’s… not good at all.’

In that moment, she felt really bad for him. She should be lecturing him—if he was this bad at keeping his secret, who knew how many else knew of his identity? What if some of them were bad people? He was putting both himself and her at risk. But he was also her helpless little kitty, probably hating himself to bits right now, and she wanted nothing more than to comfort him.

She took a step closer to him, but he backed away, insecurity flashing in his eyes.

It hurt.

Marinette clenched her hands into fists at her sides. Chat had just revealed both of his identities to someone he thought was a stranger. It had been reckless of him, but he didn’t deserve to feel like the shit he probably felt like. And the only one who could mend the wounds was Ladybug.

‘I lied,’ she told him, ignoring the flashing warning signs in her mind.

He frowned at her. ‘What?’

‘Spots on.’

In the moment she said those words, even before the red, glittering light had enveloped her, she saw Chat’s eyes widen.

Dressed as Ladybug—the real deal this time, not just a cosplay—she closed the distance between them and pulled him into an embrace. Slowly, she felt his muscles relax against her.

‘You… lied,’ he echoed in a whisper.

Marinette tensed. ‘I’m sorry, I—’

‘Thank god you were lying,’ he continued, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her neck. ‘I would’ve screwed up real bad if you weren’t.’

Before she could answer, he pulled back and stared at her at an arm’s length.

‘You’re a cosplayer,’ he breathed, eyes suddenly gleaming. ‘You are even more perfect than I thought.’ Then he blushed. ‘And… you think I’m hot?’

Her blush matched his. ‘Shut up,’ she whispered.

A small smile materialised on his lips, and then he had the audacity to bite down on his bottom lip in a way that both squeezed her heart and made her blood boil.

‘You’ve been telling cat puns all day,’ he said, eyes glittering.

‘Are you going to retell the entire day to me, Chat?’

‘Don’t you mean **re _tail_**?’

She smacked him lightly on the head, which only made him chuckle.

‘So, we both went to a con as our civilian selves dressed as our alter-egos. Then we were repeatedly bundled together for photo shoots. What are the odds?’

‘ **Tail** me about it.’

His smile immediately faltered as his blush returned in full force. ‘God, you’re hot when you make cat puns.’

‘And you’re a stray cat who’s had too much catnip.’

‘I _have_ had a fair share of drugs today, it’s true,’ he purred, stroking a loose sling of hair behind her ear. ‘It’s _so_ hard to say no to such an addictive substance.’

‘Oh, you’re calling me a substance now? I think that takes the prize for the most romantic nickname.’

‘And I’m so lucky to have such ready access to this precious substance,’ he continued, ignoring her mocking commentary. ‘This… _Ladydrug._ ’

At that, she couldn’t help but burst out laughing. ‘Okay, that’s it,’ she wheezed, ‘you’re a lost cause. I’ve officially given up.’

He stuck out his bottom lip in a pout. ‘Aw, but I have so many puns left!’

She raised her hand and held up her palm in front of his face. ‘Talk to the paw.’

In a smooth gesture, he grabbed hold of her hand and kissed her knuckles. ‘Is it okay if I kiss it instead?’ he murmured against the fabric.

She found herself blinking shyly at him as he looked at her with his large, green eyes.

‘When did you get to be so suave?’ she marvelled.

‘I’ve always been suave,’ he assured her.

‘HA! You wouldn’t even be able to seduce a cat in heat.’

She regretted those words immediately after having said them. Chat Noir, inspired by his civilian self and no doubt encouraged by her earlier comment about him being hot, stepped away from her and struck a devastating pose: hips thrust forward; shoulders leaned back; both hands behind his head, flexing his biceps as he looked at her with a gaze that put the term “bedroom eyes” to shame.

‘Maybe not a cat,’ he said casually, ‘but I’ll settle for a bug.’

While she stared at him with her mouth hanging open like a hungry moray, she found herself helplessly thinking _‘curiosity killed the ladybug…’_

‘Oh, you **pawr** thing,’ Chat cooed. ‘Cat got your tongue?’

‘But satisfaction brought it back,’ she whispered.

Confused, Chat lowered his arms—

And was immediately tackled by a curious Ladybug. 

* * *

 

Adrien was in heaven. Finally, after so many years of unrequited love for Ladybug, he held her in his arms— _and she held him back._ They’d both transformed back and moved to a more secluded location, and Ladybug—or rather, the girl behind Ladybug’s mask—was breathlessly trying to unzip his costume by tugging at the bell by his throat while simultaneously snogging him to death.

Stifling a giggle, he pulled back for a moment. ‘It’s actually in the back,’ he told her.

‘What?’ she panted.

‘The zipper.’ He winked and guided her hands behind his back, to the pull tab right below his hairline.

While she struggled to pull it down, he studied her face. He’d removed his mask already, but hers was stubbornly fastened around her head, leaving her real identity to his imagination.

‘Hey, Mary,’ he began softly.

She just grunted in response.

Carefully, he brought one hand up to her mask. ‘Are you going to keep this thing on, or…?’

She didn’t even seem to register his question, and instead went to work on planting kisses along his jawline. He sighed, partly in content and partly in annoyance.

_So you’re going to know my full identity—that I am both Chat and Adrien—but you’re going to keep me in the dark as to your own?_

He was about to voice a complaint, but stopped himself when he heard a third voice nearby.

‘Mari!’ It shouted. A girl’s voice. ‘Mari, where are you?’

Ladybug had just succeeded in pulling the zipper down, and now had one hand halfway inside _(oh goodness it felt amazing)_ but at the sound of her name, she tensed up immediately. Her eyes found his as she raised an index finger to her own lips. He nodded. He’d rather her friend didn’t find them here, half-naked and panting heavily behind a dumpster.

‘Marinette, if you’re here somewhere, could you at least give me a squeak or something?’

_Marinette?_

Adrien raised an inquisitive eyebrow. Mary—or was that Marinette?—blushed harder.

‘Ignore her,’ she whispered.

‘Is that your name?’ he whispered back. ‘Marinette?’

After a moment’s hesitation, she nodded.

‘I knew a girl with that name, once,’ he continued, slowly. ‘She had… pigtails just like Ladybug, and freckles all over her face…’

Marinette blinked at him. She didn’t seem to be breathing.

Adrien’s eyes narrowed. ‘Wait a minute…’

With shaking hands, he grabbed hold of the edges of the Ladybug mask. She didn’t stop him, so he started pulling it upwards.

* * *

 

Seconds later, Anne would hear a high-pitched shriek from behind a nearby dumpster. She paused for a moment. But no, that wasn’t Marinette’s voice; she would recognise her shriek anywhere.

 _Oh well, guess she got it on with the kitty,_ she concluded, shrugging as she left the area.


End file.
